Coping with Chaos: How We Get Through This

By Bridget Sorensen

Chaos. Uncertainty. Hopelessness. These are just a few words that I have heard used to

describe the state of the world right now. No matter who you are, what you believe in, or where you come from, there seems to be a universal agreement that everything going on in the world is a lot to handle. There is more division, isolation, and dysregulation than ever before. I have been struggling to answer the question “How do we get through this? What do we do?” Being in a helping profession, it can feel discouraging not to have an answer for those coming to you for help. I have to acknowledge I don’t totally know how we get through this. I don’t have a quick fix, or a piece of wisdom that will blow your mind. I have, however, provided some simple practices we can implement to keep us going, to help us feel grounded, present, and hopeful

Meet Your Basic Needs

During these difficult times we must ensure we are eating enough, hydrating adequately, and

getting enough sleep. You don’t need to be a genius to know that these basic needs are what keep us alive, and yet they tend to be the ones that fall by the wayside most often in difficult times. Don’t underestimate the power of a good meal or a night of restful sleep. And don’t forget to breathe! Take the biggest deep breaths you can and give your lungs that stretch they need to function. At a time when just getting through the day takes so much of our mental energy, we need to give our body and brains all they need to function and thrive.

Prioritize Community and Support

When it feels like there is so much division, focus on the areas of your life where there is unity.

Reconnect with friends and family in any way that you can. My biggest recommendation is to

find a way to reconnect with them that involves speaking, such as a voice message, a call, a

FaceTime, or sending a video. Being able to talk about your love and care out loud allows our

bodies and minds to get the good neurochemicals that come from a face-to-face conversation, such as oxytocin. Even better if you can connect with people in person! Our digital age has led to a dangerous level of isolation. Meet up with a friend for coffee, go on a walk with your partner, go out to lunch with a coworker, or do a fun activity you’ve always wanted to do and invite someone to join you. Find those you can talk about your worries with, find those who will listen, and give you the space you need to process and feel.

Focus on Micro-Joys

This is the tip that usually brings the biggest eye rolls. Sometimes it can seem pointless to treat yourself to some ice cream when it feels like the sky is falling. But it’s not about fixing the

situation, it’s about coping with it and creating joy wherever you can and in whatever little ways you can. It could be buying your favorite snack in the middle of a workday, taking a hot bath instead of your regular shower, or making time to read that book you’ve been wanting to read. Wherever and however you can, focus on the micro-joys, and create little moments of joy. These small moments of enjoyment are what build up our mental bandwidth to keep us going through difficult times.

Accept the Uncontrollable

What can we do? How can we handle this? How are we going to make it through this? All valid questions with no clear answers. Hopelessness and uncertainty can contribute to intense anxiety and overwhelm. This is where we take a deep breath, and use that trusty Serenity Prayer, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” A lot is going on right now that we cannot change. We are struggling to accept these things. Accepting the uncontrollable isn’t the same as supporting what’s happening, instead, it’s acknowledging that this is our reality right now, validating how you feel about it, and then focusing on where you can direct your efforts.

Initiate Change Where You Can

Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I couldn’t have said it any better and I won’t waste my time trying. Don’t let the hopelessness of the situation silence you. Don’t let the difficulty of connecting with others force you into isolation. Don’t let the chaos overpower your conscience. If you feel that exercising your activism would help you gain some optimism, do it. If you feel like changing up your daily routine would help you right now, do it. If there is an area of your life you want to change or a part of the world that you want to influence, take the necessary steps. All of us have valuable skills and qualities that must be utilized for good.

Create Boundaries

Boundaries exist between us and everything we interact with in the world. When the world feels particularly scary, we should create boundaries where necessary to keep us regulated, grounded, and stable. It’s okay to tell certain people in your life that you won’t discuss a topic with them if it brings up conflict. It’s okay to not read every news headline. It’s okay to leave environments where you do not feel welcome, safe, or respected. It’s okay to no longer give consideration in places that you are not considered. Preserve your peace by setting boundaries between you and things in your life that increase your stress. Maintain the important relationships in your life by putting up the necessary boundaries. Putting up boundaries may lead to fewer sources of support. In that unfortunate case, I will reiterate what I wrote above: prioritize community and support in

any way you can.

Hold Onto Hope

We must not give up hope. We must continue to hold onto the belief that things will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even a year from now. But at some point, something will get better in some way. If you don’t have hope in one area of your life, hold onto the hope in another area. Even if the time ahead seems bleak, reflect on your personal goals and the excitement you have for your future. Keep making plans. Keep setting goals. Keep focusing on individual growth. Keep your sights set on the brighter times ahead. To quote my favorite musical, Les Misérables, “Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise.”