As we near Valentine’s Day, love is at the forefront of many of our minds. Whether
planning for a romantic gesture for a special someone or making valentines for a group of close friends, many of us will be working hard to show those in our lives that we love and appreciate them. Are you planning to gift a bouquet of roses? Perhaps a box of chocolates? Maybe a heartfelt card recalling fond memories and hope for the future? These are great gestures; ones I am sure anyone would love to receive. But when it comes to showing love, we know it is more than just going above and beyond on February 14th .

It’s about finding manageable and sustainable ways to show love in our everyday lives,
doing things that make people feel seen, and showing up in people’s lives in a way that is
personally meaningful to them. This is where love languages come in. Some view them as
scientific; others view them as pop psychology or clickbait. Regardless, I have found that there is truth to them. The five love languages include: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. While you may identify with one of these love languages, as I do, I believe we are vastly more complex than these five love languages can capture. I believe we can receive and give love in a variety of ways.
Below I have constructed a list of simple ways to show meaningful love to those in your
everyday life. These are not just applicable to your significant other, they can also be applied to friends and family. Some of these acts of love should only be done with the person’s consent, so don’t hesitate to ask for permission, this is a respectful way to show someone you care for them.

Words of Affirmation
1. Write a post-it note with a compliment and leave it on their bathroom mirror.
2. Acknowledge their accomplishments, telling them you are proud of them, and that you
see their hard work.
3. Send them an encouraging text in the middle of a hard workday.
4. Write them a card, just because.
Quality Time
5. When are with them, be completely present. Put your phone down, disengage from any
distractions, look them in the eye, and give them your full attention.
6. Go with them when they need to run an errand.
7. Join them in their hobbies, even if they aren’t your favorite.
8. Take a couple of minutes to call them when you are not together.
Physical Touch
To refer back to my caveat at the start of this list, don’t hesitate to ask for permission
before initiating physical touch.
9. Hug them first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and throughout the day.
10. Hold their hand when we are walking or seated beside each other.
11. Allow them to rest their head on your shoulder or in your lap while you watch a movie
and let yourself lean on them as well!
12. Offer to give them a shoulder massage after a long day.
Acts of Service
13. Join them in doing dishes, folding the laundry, or shoveling the snow.
14. At the end of the night, plug in their phone, turn down their covers, and put toothpaste on
their toothbrush.
15. Bring them hot coffee or tea in the morning or fill their water bottle throughout the day.
16. Take over a task they may struggle with or dread doing and do it for them.

Receiving Gifts
Many people get intimidated when someone’s love language is receiving gifts. The stress
may come from finding the right gift or being able to afford it. So, I have intentionally made
these gestures simple and affordable to minimize resistance in utilizing this love language.
17. Bake them their favorite dessert.
18. Curate a playlist of songs for them.
19. Make a handmade craft for them, such as a bracelet or drawing.
20. Print a photo that commemorates a shared memory and frame it for them.
Self-Love
I can’t write an entire blog post about love and not mention the importance of self-love.
There are everyday ways to love yourself: moving your body, eating foods that nourish you,
getting good sleep, and engaging in the hobbies that fulfill you. But I want you to try and take a new approach. I want to help you apply the love languages to yourself.
If you know your love language, love yourself through that language. On the other hand,
if you do not know your love language, try out a couple of different ways of loving yourself and find which ones fulfill you most. If you feel love through words of affirmation, write a heartfelt letter to your future self or your younger self, or craft some affirmations you can repeat to yourself each day (look back at my recent blog post on affirmations if you need help learning how to use them to your benefit). If you feel love through quality time, take yourself on a date, or listen to your favorite music while you take a walk. If you feel love through physical touch, take a hot bath or give your feet a nice massage. If you feel love through acts of service, serve yourself! Allow yourself to do something aside from your daily routine that makes you feel loved, such as cooking yourself a nice meal or booking yourself an appointment to get your nails done. Lastly, if you feel love through receiving gifts, buy yourself a book you’re excited about or a skincare product that usually feels too indulgent.
While the season of love is often about loving others, it is just as valuable to ensure that
you are loving yourself. You deserve love, you deserve love from others, and you deserve love
from yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill yours in ways that allow you the energy and stamina to continue showing up for yourself and others.
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