Understanding the Journey of a Therapist: Embracing Humanity in Healing

The Challenges of Being a Therapist

Being a therapist is a profoundly challenging profession. It requires us to hold unconditional positive regard for individuals we may not have otherwise interacted with. We must cultivate empathy and compassion for everyone who enters our office. This role demands complete focus on another person and self-control to ensure our emotional experiences do not influence those of our clients. Navigating emotionally vulnerable connections with clients in a professional and ethical manner is essential. We must maintain boundaries while our minds work on overdrive, analyzing what is said, synthesizing it with our clinical knowledge, and responding appropriately.

Learning to be a therapist is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Yet, it is also the greatest honor of my life.

The Importance of Self-Care

That being said, every therapist needs time to step away from their role. It requires a selfless self-control that not many will ever have to exercise. It is simply not sustainable to fill the role of “therapist” all the time. Each of us needs our off-the-clock hours. During my studies in clinical mental health counseling, nearly every class emphasized the importance of self-care and boundaries.

As I began to take on clients and fully embrace my role as a therapist, I discovered just how crucial it is to allow myself not to be a therapist all the time. It was a learning curve. I often found myself thinking, “Am I being a girlfriend, sister, or friend right now?” Then I would ask, “Am I allowed to prioritize my needs in this moment, or am I being a therapist?”

It took a lot of putting myself on the back burner to realize the price I was paying. The lines blurred, and my “therapist hat” became increasingly difficult to remove. I had to take significant steps back from relationships that mattered to me to refill my cup—the cup I had emptied while playing therapist for everyone in my life. While I feel I have learned to set necessary boundaries and have ample practice maintaining them, I know this is a lifelong adjustment. It requires constant re-evaluation of where my therapist role starts and ends.

The Balance Between Professional and Personal Life

While there are aspects of my identity as a therapist that I cannot separate from myself—such as my knowledge of psychology, expertise in mental health care, and ability to empathize—I cannot be expected to be an on-call mental health professional for everyone in my life. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy discussing mental health, therapy, and psychology. As a middle child, I often played the role of mediator. However, expecting me to maintain the level of selflessness and objectivity required to be a therapist is an unfair expectation for me or any of your therapist loved ones.

Appreciating Your Therapist Loved Ones

If you have a therapist friend, sibling, or partner, I’m sure you have benefited from their compassion, knowledge, or expertise. Please take a moment to thank them. If they are like me, they likely spent years in school and invested tens (or even hundreds) of thousands of dollars in tuition to acquire that expertise. Having access to their knowledge for free is far more special and valuable than you may realize.

So, how can you return the favor? Give them space to not be a therapist. Let them be human. Allow them the freedom to mess up without holding their profession over their heads as a form of shaming or invalidation. Give them time to express their emotions about the weight they carry daily. Offer them grace when they say the wrong thing or make mistakes.

Don’t expect them to treat you as a client, because you are not their client. If you were, they wouldn’t be your loved ones. So, let them just be, without unrealistic expectations of how or who they should be.

The Humanity Behind the Profession

Therapists are human, and that’s why they can do the work they do. Those who choose to become therapists often have their own mental health journeys that led them to this vocation. These experiences instill in them the passion and compassion necessary to be effective therapists. They understand what it means to mess up, to feel guilt, and to experience hopelessness, dysregulation, or a sense of being out of control.

They also know how it feels to have contentious, tumultuous, or even toxic relationships. Your therapist, your therapist friend, or family member is not a perfect person, nor should they be. How could they acquire accurate empathy without lived experience?

In conclusion, let us remember that therapists are individuals too. They carry their own burdens while helping others navigate theirs. By offering them understanding and support, we can foster a healthier environment for everyone involved. Together, we can create a community that values healing, empowerment, and the shared human experience.

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