Being Human Is... Masking?

We are born with certain characteristics that may or may not get suppressed over time.

These traits are inherent - a part of who we are.

These traits can show up in many forms. In my experience, I remember being an anxious

little girl with separation anxiety. I wasn’t understood as an anxious child; instead, I was called

“dramatic” or “sensitive.” This anxiety sometimes turned into panic. I felt alone, with my only

attempts at seeking help met with, “Leave me alone, you’re too much.”

This led to me holding everything in or monitoring everybody's movement, freezing

during presentations, and turning cherry red all over my face. I would avoid school trips and get “sick” during group activities. My quiet and silence became a form of protection. I was wearing

a mask.

At school, that mask looked like keeping my hands neatly folded, smiling at the right

times, and pretending I was fine. At home, when I felt safe, it looked completely different -

singing out loud to my favorite songs, pacing the hallway while daydreaming, laughing at my

own thoughts, and talking to my dog like he understood every word. The contrast was

exhausting.

Inside, I felt far from normal. My ADHD, anxiety, and dyscalculia were a part of me, yet

I was in a world that didn’t understand that. I compared myself to neurotypical people when I

should have been comparing myself to my own needs, desires, wishes, and ambitions.

As student clinician Katheryn, I bring this into the room with me. I strive to provide a safe and

supportive environment for all of my clients. I carry the belief that it is important to learn

yourself without your mask. That’s easier said than done, but not impossible.

Learn your limitations. Learn your triggers. Learn what makes you feel safe. Learn what

rest looks like. Learn what it means to listen to your body’s needs. It all begins with you.

You were once a child with certain hopes and desires. For some, those dreams were suppressed because of trauma, abuse, neglect, depression, low self-esteem - you name it. Now, they may be living a life that doesn’t feel authentic but instead feels protective. Maybe safe.

That’s where masking comes in. Masking can look like mimicking someone’s body language or using a customer service voice that leaves you drained by the end of the day. It might be the silly, unfiltered things you do at home when no one’s around that you’d never do in the middle of a meeting.

Masking can be a protective mechanism. It’s how some of us survive, and even thrive, in

a world not always built for neurodivergent individuals. If this resonates with you, know you’re

not alone. Many people feel this way. The difference is, they aren’t you. That’s why it’s so

important to avoid comparisons and instead focus on learning yourself.

Masking is not just an experience faced by the neurodivergent community. It’s something

faced by all of humanity. We all have different masks, and we may have different names for

them. Understanding how much masking impacts you- and distracts from your true values - is when you need to pause and ask yourself some hard questions. Masking may also be necessary for some, and that is another consideration. There is so much more to be said on this subject.